Do you want to get better?

Sounds like a silly question, right? Do you want to get better? Of course, we all say we want to get better, but getting there can be painful. Feedback is essential for growth, but as Joe Scarlett, retired CEO of Tractor Supply Company, wrote in his recent blog: When we receive criticism in the workplace, often politely referred to as "feedback," most of us will react in one of the following ways: to push back, to ignore, or – if we are wise – to lean in.

Scarlett says the problem is that we let pride take the driver's seat, and we push back and attempt to paint the criticism as misguided, petty or just plain wrong. Scarlett’s advice is:

Listen carefully, ask questions and end with a big thank you. After all, you've just been given a useful tool on your path to performance improvement.

Admittedly, how and by whom feedback is delivered is vital to our ability to accept it. So, before reacting to the criticism try to understand the intentions of your critic. Most people are not mean and nasty; they attempt to be helpful when they offer criticism. Even if the person providing the feedback does not have the best of intentions, you can still learn from what they are sharing if you listen and don't take it personally.

As difficult as it can be to receive criticism, sometimes it's equally difficult to give it. We often opt for the "ignore it, and it will go away" or "that's not my circus" when we see a co-worker doing something that could hinder their performance. We know we could help, but we don’t want to hurt their feelings, so we stay silent.

Job clarity is one of the most important motivators for leaders and managers. Knowing your job and how you are doing is essential for productivity. That means creating a culture of feedback, not only from the leadership team but also from your colleagues. Logically, knowing how you’re doing is impossible unless someone provides feedback.

In her book Radical Candor, author Kim Scott writes about the most essential element in giving feedback. She says you must "Show that you care, personally, about the person." It reminds me of what we teach leaders in our Leadership Masterclass about discipline:

Discipline is something you do FOR someone, not TO someone.

When you care about someone, you want the best for them. Providing positive and critical feedback is essential for anyone to grow and develop. If you're interested in growth and working in an environment where people are not regularly giving feedback, you might start the process by asking, "How am I doing today? And please be honest." Demonstrating that you are hungry for feedback will help you become aware of potentially little things you are doing that are getting in the way.

I'm incredibly fortunate and blessed to work with high-performance-minded people at RAB. We're more like a family – dysfunction and all. When I first joined the team, I used to use the phrase "with all due respect" from time to time. Thankfully, Tammy Greenberg and Leah Kamon on our team pulled me aside and told me how those words are perceived. That feedback opened my eyes to something that I was completely unaware of. I had no idea how those seemingly simple words impacted others and the tension they were causing. Thankfully, Tammy and Leah gave me precisely the kind of feedback I needed to adjust.

When providing feedback or criticism, be clear and direct. Kim Scott says in her book, "It's not mean; it's clear." Even though it can feel mean, you must be clear for the person to understand.

If you want to improve, the only way to do it is to have someone point out ways to improve. That's the purpose of feedback. Listen carefully, ask questions and end with a big thank you. After all, you've just been given a useful tool for personal improvement.

Jeff Schmidt is the SVP of Professional Development. You can reach him at Jeff.Schmidt@rab.com. You can all so connect with him on X and LinkedIn.