Can’t We All Get Along? No! And That’s Okay

Several years ago, I had the pleasure of interviewing Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. One of the biggest blind spots I see in leaders isn’t spreadsheets, pipelines or quotas — it’s conflict avoidance. Too many teams chase harmony at all costs, but what they’re actually selling is silence. When people avoid real disagreement, the work feels smooth, but underneath, problems fester, opportunities slip through the cracks and performance stagnates. The Triple Crown Leadership guide on productive conflict reminds us that conflict avoidance is the real silent deal killer.

Here’s the truth: productive conflict is not chaos — it’s clarity. When your team avoids tough conversations, they’re not preserving peace — they’re preserving ambiguity. And ambiguity kills sales results. Teams that operate in “artificial harmony” tend to:

• Hold back true opinions in meetings.
• Sweep disagreements under the rug.
• Repeat the same mistakes because no one ever challenged the flawed assumption.
• Leave important information unspoken until it’s too late.

That’s not teamwork — that’s performance limping along.

Great teams don’t avoid conflict — they navigate it. They debate solutions, challenge assumptions and push back on each other’s ideas — all in the service of one thing: driving better outcomes faster. As the article points out, the question leaders must ask isn’t “Will conflict happen?” It’s “Will we have the courage and emotional maturity to use it constructively?”

What does productive conflict look like in action?

• Leaders Set Clear Rules of Engagement - Conflict doesn’t thrive in vagueness. Without clear norms — what’s acceptable and what’s not — teams default to avoidance. Define how you’ll disagree: focus on ideas, not personalities. Clarify that every voice matters and every tough topic deserves to be aired. This sets the stage for honest, solution-oriented dialogue.

• Invite — Don’t Suppress — Honest Debate - As a leader, create explicit opportunities for differing viewpoints. Ask quieter team members for their perspective. Challenge the loudest voices to explain their logic. Early in a meeting, invite pushback on assumptions. When tough questions are welcomed, choices become clearer and commitment becomes stronger.

• Keep Conflict Strategic and Focused - This isn’t about letting emotions rule the room. It’s about harnessing tension toward shared goals. Productive conflict centers on finding truth and better approaches, not winning an argument or protecting ego. Leaders must craft the conversation so that conflict stays about the work, not the person.

• Reward the Right Kind of Challenge - When someone on your team respectfully calls out a risk, pause to acknowledge it. Reinforce that this behavior brings value. Company cultures that celebrate bold questions—not just closed deals—build repeatable success.

• Follow Up With Clear Agreements - Don’t let meetings end in a blur of unresolved issues. Drive to closure. Who’s doing what, by when? Teams that clarify decisions after conflict avoid misunderstandings and siloed execution.

Bonus Tip: NEVER, EVER, let it get personal. Focus on issues, not personalities.

Productive conflict is not risk — it’s your competitive edge. Teams that learn to engage disagreement with trust and purpose find better solutions faster, build deeper commitment to plans and avoid the costly cycle of unspoken issues and stalled performance.

If your sales team is too polite, too quiet or too afraid to challenge each other, you’re not protecting peace. You’re protecting mediocrity.

Embrace conflict. Lead through it. And watch your results rise.

P.S. Triple Crown Leadership, where I found much of the information for this tip, has a “quiz” you can take to assess your team’s level of conflict avoidance. If you’d like to take the quiz, send me an email here, and I’ll send you the link.

Think Big, Make Big Things Happen!

Jeff Schmidt is the SVP of Professional Development. You can reach him at Jeff.Schmidt@RAB.com . You can also connect with him on X , YouTube, and LinkedIn .