Stop Trying To Be Interesting

With apologies to Dos Equis, being the “most interesting man (or woman) in the room” is not a sustainable sales strategy. Oh sure, it might be fun for a while to be the center of attention or being the life of the party. But particularly in sales, being interesting isn't nearly as valuable as being interested.

In 1936, Dale Carnegie published How to Win Friends and Influence People. Nearly 90 years later, one of his most powerful lessons may be even more relevant today:

Stop trying so hard to be interesting. Start being interested.

Think about how often we do the opposite in sales. We walk into a prospect's office prepared to talk about our company, our audience, our capabilities, our products, our ratings, our digital solutions and all the reasons someone should do business with us. We want to demonstrate our expertise. We want to prove our value. We want to be interesting. What if we'd be more successful by being interested?

A recent Inc. article by Sneha Saigal about Carnegie's timeless advice. The premise is remarkably simple: The people who make the greatest impression aren't necessarily the ones with the most impressive things to say. They're often the people who pay genuine attention to the person sitting across from them. That's not just good networking advice. That's great sales advice.

Think about your last Client Needs Analysis. Were you listening because you genuinely wanted to understand the client's business, or were you listening for an opening to talk about your solution? There's a big difference.

Curiosity sounds like:

• “Tell me more about that.”
• “Why do you think that's happening?”
• “What happens if that problem doesn't get solved?”
• “You mentioned that twice. Why is that particularly important to you?”

And perhaps my favorite:

• “What haven't I asked you that I should have?”

Those aren't tricks. They aren't lines from a sales script. They demonstrate genuine curiosity. This is a principle we teach in our Customer Needs Analysis training:

People buy from us because we understand them, not because we make them understand us.

Research cited in the Inc. article backs this up. A Harvard study found that people who ask more questions—particularly follow-up questions—are better liked and perceived as more responsive. In other words, asking the second question may be more powerful than having the perfect response to the first one. That matters even more in the age of AI.

AI can give us information almost instantly. It can research a prospect, analyze an industry, suggest questions, write an email and help prepare a presentation. That's incredibly valuable. But there's also a potential downside. When answers become instantaneous, we can become less comfortable not knowing. Great sellers are comfortable not knowing. They don't pretend to have every answer. They say, “I don't know. Help me understand.”

Use AI to become better prepared. Use it to research. Use it to eliminate administrative work. Use it to help you identify opportunities. But when you get in front of another human being, be human. Put down the phone. Stop thinking about your next question while they're answering the current one. Listen to their words, tone and emotion. Ask the follow-up question because you're genuinely curious about the answer.

Carnegie figured this out almost 90 years ago. Technology hasn't made his advice obsolete. If anything, technology has made it more valuable. Your competitive advantage may not be knowing more than everyone else. Today, everyone has access to nearly unlimited information. AI can help you know more about your prospect. It can't make you care more about your prospect. That's up to you.

So, on your next sales call, stop worrying about being the most interesting person in the room. Be the most interested person in the room. Ask one more question. Listen a little longer. Be genuinely curious about the answer.

You might be surprised by how interesting the conversation becomes. Here’s a paradox I’ve noticed: When you are genuinely interested, engaged and actively listening, the other person may do most of the talking. Yet, when they leave the meeting and someone asks about you, they’ll often say, “Wow, that was a really interesting person.”

Funny how that works.

The best way to become more interesting may be to become more interested.

Think Big. Make Big Things Happen.

Jeff Schmidt is the SVP of Professional Development. You can reach him at Jeff.Schmidt@RAB.com. You can also connect with him on X, YouTube and LinkedIn.