Connection Etiquette – Don’t Be THAT Person

I don’t know what’s going on lately, but my LinkedIn inbox has turned into a nonstop parade of connection requests—from financial planners to network marketers… and somehow, the CEO of a cotton yarn factory in the U.K. What? Just looking at their profile, you can usually tell why they want to connect—and too often, it’s not about you. You check their profile, see a few shared connections and think, “Okay, maybe this makes sense.”

Then, with almost automated precision, you get a message explaining all about the other person, what they do and what their company does, or worse as you see above this tip, a full-on pitch. It’s totally focused on them. No warmup, no soft intro, just right to the heavy sales message/pitch.

Disappointing.

And here’s the kicker—most buyers say the majority of outreach they receive simply isn’t relevant or valuable.

So, it’s not just annoying, it doesn’t work.
Somewhere along the way, networking turned into pitching.
And people can feel it immediately.

One of the greatest benefits of our RAB live training, whether I’m attending association events or hosting our own, is seeing the connections being made. We just started a new virtual Leadership MasterClass this week. I believe one of the main advantages of attending training is the opportunity to connect with like-minded people in other markets who share similar experiences. The organic networking that develops from these events is rooted in a common desire to help each other, which is how all networking should be.

If you search online for “networking tips,” there are plenty of resources. We’d like to share a few things to keep in mind as you build your professional network. Paying attention to these tips will help you avoid being “that person” who connects and launches into a pitch.

1. Give before you take – instead of launching into a pitch, search your new contact’s page and look for areas of interest. Similar to prospecting, find an article, insight or idea that could genuinely help them—and lead with that. Research from LinkedIn shows 78% of buyers prefer to work with someone who provides value before asking for anything.
2. Don’t just collect connections – your goal is not the quantity of your connections but the quality – connections you can help and connections that can help you. Target your connections based on a common purpose, common interests, and align yourself with those you might be able to help. The connection isn’t the win—the relationship is.
3. Be genuinely interested – faking interest here is easily detected. Be genuine, be real and be interested and interesting.
4. Follow-up – making the initial connection is great, but unless you’re just after quantity, consistent follow-up and sharing resources, asking thoughtful questions and engaging your new connections are key.

From our RAB live events and the networking that happens, the greatest joy is seeing people help each other through shared challenges and celebrate common successes. We are wired for connection and interaction, especially now. We long for the ability to connect, collaborate and share.

At RAB, we teach the importance of a Valid Business Reason (VBR). That doesn’t stop with prospects—it applies to every connection you make:

• Lead with value.
• Show genuine interest.
• Earn the right to the conversation.

Do that and you’ll never be “that person.” You’ll be the one people actually want to hear from.

• Bad networking says: “Here’s what I do.”
• Great networking says: “Here’s something that might help you.”

Think Big, Make Big Things Happen!

Jeff Schmidt is the SVP of Professional Development. You can reach him at Jeff.Schmidt@RAB.com. You can also connect with him on X, YouTube, and LinkedIn.